Let's Play MadLibs!

Basically, this was already was cleaned up on BaseballProspectus.com, but you can have the joy of filling in whatever you feel like. I already have:


Cole Hamels (0 DXL)
Sometimes, you just let the readers speak. B.H. wrote: "Charlie Manuel [expletive deleted] has lost his mind. Five of five games this season he's left Cole Hamels in the game beyond 100 [expletive deleted] pitches. Never mind that he's never had five starts over 100 pitches back to back (though there was that equally [expletive deleted] run of four starts near/over 110 pitches last May) or that tonight against Milwaukee, aka the [expletive deleted] lefty killers, after rolling the dice and getting Cole to have a successful seventh (racking up two more Ks), he sends Hamels back out with 110 [expletive deleted] pitches with Braun, Fielder and Hart. Give me a [expletive deleted] break. Instead of leaving the game with a 4-3 lead, Braun doubles on three pitches and Fielder follows it up with a HR seven pitches after that. 121 pitches on the night! Never mind that we're talking Cole [expletive deleted] Hamels. He who was rushed to the majors at the first sign of health two years ago to maximize his value. He of the numerous arm injuries. He who has never gone 121 pitches in a game before... Against two lefty killers and a guy who hit a HR on him already that evening. This is two consecutive starts now that [expletive deleted] Manuel has left Hamels in for an inning too long (against the Mets it was trotting him out to load the bases (the last on an intentional walk) before pulling him... after which all inherited runners scored. To say the least, it's a bit [expletive deleted] frustrating."