This is how Brian Sabean decided to spend $126 million

On a middle reliever...

SAN FRANCISCO -- Barry Zito calmly accepted his demotion to the bullpen Monday and vowed that he soon would rejoin the Giants' starting rotation, although manager Bruce Bochy didn't offer a timetable for that event.

Bochy announced the move one day after Zito's worst performance of the season, a three-inning, eight-run outing in a 10-1 loss to Cincinnati. That dropped Zito's record to a Major League-worst 0-6. He also owns a 7.53 ERA and a .336 opponents' batting average, well above the respective National League averages of 4.06 and .255.

Heck, even FJM had a whole post making fun of a blogger trying really horribly to defend Sabean.

On a different note, however, I found a link on baseballprospectus.com to this study on how different pitches affect the arm and elbow.

Let's Play MadLibs!

Basically, this was already was cleaned up on BaseballProspectus.com, but you can have the joy of filling in whatever you feel like. I already have:


Cole Hamels (0 DXL)
Sometimes, you just let the readers speak. B.H. wrote: "Charlie Manuel [expletive deleted] has lost his mind. Five of five games this season he's left Cole Hamels in the game beyond 100 [expletive deleted] pitches. Never mind that he's never had five starts over 100 pitches back to back (though there was that equally [expletive deleted] run of four starts near/over 110 pitches last May) or that tonight against Milwaukee, aka the [expletive deleted] lefty killers, after rolling the dice and getting Cole to have a successful seventh (racking up two more Ks), he sends Hamels back out with 110 [expletive deleted] pitches with Braun, Fielder and Hart. Give me a [expletive deleted] break. Instead of leaving the game with a 4-3 lead, Braun doubles on three pitches and Fielder follows it up with a HR seven pitches after that. 121 pitches on the night! Never mind that we're talking Cole [expletive deleted] Hamels. He who was rushed to the majors at the first sign of health two years ago to maximize his value. He of the numerous arm injuries. He who has never gone 121 pitches in a game before... Against two lefty killers and a guy who hit a HR on him already that evening. This is two consecutive starts now that [expletive deleted] Manuel has left Hamels in for an inning too long (against the Mets it was trotting him out to load the bases (the last on an intentional walk) before pulling him... after which all inherited runners scored. To say the least, it's a bit [expletive deleted] frustrating."

4-Man Rotations

I came upon this very interesting article in the Washington Post about how much better teams would be if they just took the risk and went with a 4-man rotation.

E-mail Fun

Ken Tremendous (Michael Schur) of FJM and Keith Law of ESPN.com are both awesome in my book. So why not try and coax a personal e-mail from both of them. I'll start with KT:

I love how in your latest post u misspelled "pitching" as "picthing" when trying to imitate Joe Morgan. Brilliant! (even if not on purpose) not concetrate, but hey you tried.

Also, you responded to my friend Andrew Walker, and now he is the cock on the block (should have said walk, but w/e) as he stated, so if it's not too much trouble to ask and I won't ever again (ok don't remember that for next time) could you respond with a "hi" or something so I could show my friends I got an e-mail from the writer for "The Office" (oh and of course the firejoemorgan.com genius)
Thanks!

Go Florida Marlins!

-Alex

And here is the response I got in my e-mail from none other than KT himself:

I'm not sure being the "cock on the block" is something to brag about.

Also: hi.

And thanks for reading.

KT

So not exactly what I was hoping for, but a response is a response. From Ken Tremendous!

The next one is from Keith Law, writer for ESPN.com and apparent FJM fan on Facebook. This is of course a Facebook message both to and from:

A Fan of Yours

Between Keith Law and You

Today at 1:01am

I was going through the FJM Fan List and saw "Kieth Law" and your pic and was pleasantly surprised. You don't of course know me, but I just wanted to let you know that in a world of insane and unreasonable journalists, you are by far my favorite (Rob Neyer being a close second.) I just think it's so cool that you are actually on Facebook and apparently read FJM.
Your Fan
- Alex (Go Marlins!)

Keith Law

Add as Friend

Today at 11:15pm

Report Message

Alex:
Yes, that's me, and I'm a big FJM fan. I hate fatuous, ignorant baseball writing, and I love the way they dismantle it.
Thanks for the kind words.
Keith




WHO IS GOOD?!?!? ME, THAT'S WHO!!!

Brian Bannister Update

B. Bannister (KAN)

9 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 3 K, Win

vs MIN
Final

Blackouts

There has been recent talk about changing the boundaries for blackouts or getting rid of them altogether. I read an interesting article on Yahoo the today talking about the subject. My response as I sit watching a Tampa Bay Rays vs. New York Yankees game in Tallahassee, Florida... GET RID OF THE DANG STUPID BLACKOUTS!!! Tonight's Marlins-Nationals game cannot be seen on Sun Sports in Tallahassee because the stupid cable company doesn't show 55 Marlins games a year. I don't care about the Rays. I don't really like them or hate them, just don't care to watch them. The team I like are the Florida Marlins, and I want to watch them!!!

The Brian Bannisters

Apparently can't hit but can sure as hell pitch. That's the name of my mixed-league fantasy team on ESPN.com, after the great Royals pitcher Brian Bannister. In fact, Mr. Bannister reward me with this 2-hit shutout he threw against the Detroit Tigers.

And if you need any more explanation why Bannister is my favorite non-Marlin baseball player not named Miguel Cabrera, this article is one reason why. This one is another reason why, and it even has three parts. Baseball Prospectus even did an interview of their own.

Opening Day

Well now that the season has begun, life is back to normal. They teach in elementary school that the Earth has four seasons: Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter. That is false. There is baseball season and not baseball season. Simple as that.

Now to look at how my fantasy team did on Opening Day.
Studs:
David Riske: 1IP no hits or walks or Ks - got the save after Eric Gagne blew a 3-run lead and had trouble throwing strikes. Looks like I hit gold on guessing who will be a closer by May.
Gary Sheffield: 1-5, 4BB and 1 RBI - seeing we use OBP, this was awesome. Include him with Miguel Cabrera who also hit a home run
Brian Roberts: 2-2 2BB 1SB/1CS and Run scored - I didn't get to watch any of this game, but it's great to see my 2B off to a great start and being "aggressive" on the basepaths, even if it counts as 0 NSB on the scoreboard.
Josh Willingham: 1-4 with a 2run HR - it was off Johann Santana, nuff said.

Duds:
Rafael Betancourt: 1.2IP 3H, 1BB, 1K, 0ER and the win - the win was lucky, but that doesn't help the WHIP at all
Matt Diaz: 1-9 1 RBI - there is a reason he was a 27th round pick for my bench. Hopefully he can turn it around, seeing as it is only 9 ABs.
David Ortiz: 0-7 2BB 1run - Yes, it was in Japan a week earlier, but it was still on openers and not good at all
Peter Moylan: 1.2IP 1H 1ER 1HR 2K - He has pitched better than his ERA would show, but gave up the game-winning HR to Ryan Zimmerman. I'm not too worried.

In other news, I'll give a shout out to my Marlins, who got 4 great bullpen innings from Ricky Nolasco and Matt Lindstrom. Too bad the Marlins signed pitching dud Mark Hendrickson. The innings eater pitched only 5 innings. Isn't that his only purpose? Can't wait to see Chris Volstad in the rotation come June or July. Marlins lost 7-2 to the Mets if you haven't heard already.